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The 7 Best Valentine’s E-Messages

Bob the Squirrel Valentine

Valentine’s Day brings out the love in every nerd, making even the coldest basement a warm place for at least 24 hours. We have a unique way of expressing our feelings of love to our significant others that involves more than just flowers or candy. These e-messages are some of the best examples of putting into words what we just cannot say ourselves.

#1. Darth Vader


Nothing says love like an invitation to come over and touch a big dark helmet. Speaking of that, Mel Brooks also sends his best regards.

#2. Captain Janeway

Delta Quadrant

Don’t forget to set your phasers to “stunning.” Otherwise you might just wind up violating the Prime Directive, which may or may not come with the death penalty. Bring a costume for roleplaying fun if Q comes along.

#3. Daleks


If you are in an extermination mood, then nothing speaks of love like a Dalek. You can manage your quest for world domination and purity while trying to get rid of that pesky doctor who has two hearts all at the same time.

#4. Sherlock

Sherlock Valentine

When sending your convenient or inconvenient valentine, make sure that it is up to specifications. You will be judged based on its appearance. Any hesitation will be discovered. In the end, your expression of love will be determined to be predictable.

#5. Evergreen Waste Services

Affordable Waste Services

I know that when I open up a trash container, a glowing light comes out of it. That’s because of the radioactive nature of the smells that have formed over the course of a week. Smell the love this Valentine’s Day. Have your trash can picked up.

#6. Bob the Squirrel

Bob the Squirrel Valentine

I hear there’s a shot for that. If you’re really burning for someone to love, however, Bob the Squirrel is a worthy choice.

#7. Avengers

Not a Horse

Nothing says “I love you” like a Zoophilia joke. At least if you were a camel, you could turn Valentine’s Day into Hump Day or something.

Cranking up the love on Valentine’s Day can be difficult. These e-messages, however, are an easy way to show you care without spending a fortune.

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Graeme Sandlin
A theologian of the odd. I love all things tech, especially if there's a sci-fi element to it. You'll find something special I've created every day... and not just on the internet.