The 8 Best Energy Drinks To Climb Over the 2pm Wall

Energy drinks are generally considered to be bad for you. With lots of sugar and caffeine, it’s not really the healthiest option. When you’ve got to get past that 2pm wall and get some work done, however, some energy drinks make the grade and others fail miserably.

Restore your faith in America. Consume an energy drink.

Restore your faith in America. Consume an energy drink.

Here are the 8 best energy drinks that I’ve found help me get the job done when I’d rather take a nap.

#1. Wired x344

It’s probably the unhealthiest option on this list, but it’s also the most effective. That’s because the 16 ounce can contains 344 mg of caffeine and 250 mg of Guarana extract. If you drink some at lunch, not only does your mind stay active, but your eyes twitch and your feet tap in rhythm to your playlist.

#2. Rockstar Fruit Punch

With either 240 mg or 160 mg of caffeine and a distinctly Robitussin flavor to it, the combination of taste and stimulants is enough to keep you aware of what is going on. The sugars in the drink can make your back teeth hurt just a bit, however, so avoid using it as a gargling agent.

#3. Red Bull Cranberry

It’s only got 80 mg of caffeine per serving, just 6 mg more than the US allows a 12 ounce soda to contain. It’s not going to get you buzzing, but it isn’t going to make you feel like clipping your toenails for the 4th time at 3am either. It’d probably be ranked higher if it wasn’t $3/can when it isn’t on sale.

#4. Monster Hammer

When a $4 cup of coffee at Starbucks seems to expensive, go for a reasonable replication with this energy drink. Monster has created a decent espresso that holds up well all day if you’re a sipper, but can give you that end of the day 3 hour rush if you’re a slammer. If you do slam it down, give yourself about 5 minutes to let the heartbeat return back to normal.

#5. Amp Boost

When you’ve got to make a run to your big box discount store that shall remain unnamed, but rhymes with “Hallmart,” this one is your best option. The good news is that you’ll be able to snag one and run through the self-checkout. The bad news is that the cashier is probably going to ID you because your work pants actually fit.

#6. Golazo Mandrina

Head out to any MLS game in 2015 and there’s a good chance you’ll get free samples of this energy drink. Definitely do that. Don’t be the guy who keeps going back to the samples table to get another can every 10 minutes and have your wife smuggle them out in her purse. It’s a good change of pace when the other energy drinks become wearisome and dull.

#7. Bing

This is the energy drink to get when flavors matter. It’s like drinking a cherry flavored soda where someone actually pitted a few cherries, ground them up, and included it in the drink. You’re not going to get the same level of frantic energy either, which may or may not be beneficial.

#8. Jones Whoopass

It makes you whoop and then you have a strange urge to take photographs of donkeys all afternoon. Enough said.

Which energy drinks keep you powered up all day long? Share your favorites below… if your fingers aren’t twitching too much to do so.

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Graeme Sandlin

A theologian of the odd. I love all things tech, especially if there's a sci-fi element to it. You'll find something special I've created every day... and not just on the internet.

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